Heartmind Connection - Life Coaching, Dating and Relationship Consulting

Heartmind Connection Chronicles

October 2006

This month's feature article:

7 Ways to Succeed in the Sport of Dating!

Quote of the month: Most of us want very much to be loved. Perhaps we are not concerned enough about loving.

-- Erwin McDonald

New! Join the next 3 month Motivated to Marry™ Tele-Coaching Group . Limited spaces are available. Get affordable coaching and support from others who are in the same boat as you. Sign up now for the next group and save! Perfect for both singles who have never married and for divorced individuals desiring a lasting long-term relationship. Go to www.heartmindconnection.com/motivatedtomarry-group-gen.html for more information or email me at coachamy@heartmindconnection.com.

Now Available! The Motivated to Marry™ Method BookJammed packed with tons of
my Motivated to Marry™ wisdoms
Get your copy now at the insider’s price of
$18.95, regularly $24.95 (25% off the listed price)
Shipping and Maryland tax is additional.
Email me at coachamy@heartmindconnection.com
For details

The next Free Motivated to Marry™ Tele-gathering will be October 16th. The topic is: The Long and Short of Long Distance Relationships!

We will talk about what it takes to have a successful long distance relationship. When you meet someone out of your area to date, what needs to happen for the relationship to move forward and how to avoid the pitfalls of a long distance relationship? Come explore with us!

To join a tele-gathering all you have to do is call in to the bridge line provided, add your two cents to our monthly topic, or just listen. Bring your questions, issues and concerns about dating and relationships - Talk with Amy Schoen, Professional Personal Life Coach and Dating and Relationship Expert.

Tele-gatherings take place on the third Monday of the month at 8 p.m. EST– The following one will be on November 20th. Come join us!

Sign up at www.heartmindconnection.com under tele-gatherings for the particular month. (Note: you need to sign up each month for the tele-gathering. The phone number may change from month to month and handouts may be emailed to participants.)

Don’t miss Amy speaking at the following events in the DC area this month:

Wednesday, October 11th at 7:00 p.m.
Dating Like a Pro
Greater Washington Jewish Community Center
Rockville, MD
Contact: Selma Sweetbaum, 301-348-3860
$10 M/$12 NM

Tuesday, October 24th
Learn to Date the Motivated to Marry Method!
Learning Escapes
Vienna, VA
Contact: www.learningescapes.com

Do you need a speaker for an event or meeting? See my current list of speech topics on www.heartmindconnection.com. New topics are always being added. For more information contact Amy at 240-498-7803 or coachamy@heartmindconnection.com.

Amy’s Note:

The days are getting shorter and it is getting dark earlier. How do you fight that inclination to go home and just collapse in front of the TV? What can you do to get yourself out to do fun activities and meet people? Sign up for and commit to a class that meets once a week such as a dance or cooking class. How about using the buddy system to get you out to do fun activities together such as attending lectures or going to a tennis social. You’ll be glad you got out and did something worthwhile instead of being a couch potato. You never know, you may meet someone wonderful while you are expanding your horizons.

Coach Amy Q & A:

Dear Coach Amy,

I am starting back into the dating scene after a bad break up. I want to take it slow and don’t want to put myself in a situation where I feel pressure- either sexually or someone pushing for a serious relationship. However, I do like the attention of men. What can I do that will minimize men’s expectations?

Dear Slow Start,

First, define your goals- what do you want out of dating -- to have companionship, to have fun, to meet new people? The more clear you get about what you want, the easier it will be to be open and honest with people about where you are in the dating process and to express your dating expectations.

Next, set your boundaries. What behavior do you find acceptable and what would be uncomfortable for you? On a physical basis would it be okay to hold hands? To kiss? What else and how soon? I believe it is best to be upfront and tell the men you date your comfort level. The right man will honor your boundaries. An impatient man with dishonorable intent will bolt. It is your responsibility to discuss your dating expectations and to hold firm to your expressed boundaries.

Last, look for low pressure social situations to ease yourself back into meeting people such as common interest groups, a class at a local community college or adult learning facility or a party at a friend’s house. Avoid high pressure places to meet people such as singles dances and events, bars and speed dating. It’s up to you to control the pace!

Please email me at coachamy@heartmindconnection.com with any dating and relationship questions you would like advice on. Of course, I will keep your name confidential. If you have questions, others surely have the same questions too!

Feature Article:

7 Ways to Succeed in the Sport of Dating!

Do you play sports? If you do, you have some skills that can carry over to your dating to improve your chances of being successful on the dating field.

I have been playing tennis since a y.oung age. I understand that there is a physical and mental component to playing the game of tennis. The same is true for golf, softball, bowling and any other sport that requires hand-eye coordination. Here are some tips that you can follow to improve your dating score!

1. In sports, you need to visualize yourself as being successful. If you see yourself as a good tennis player and hitting all winners, you will probably play to that level! In dating, you need to see yourself as being successful, as well. If you believe a date will go well, (and you want it to), you will be more likely to have a successful date.

2. In sports, you want to access what kind of player you want to be in a game with. You want to play with someone of your own ability level or you’ll quickly get bored. In dating, you want to be with someone who is on your same intellectual and emotional level (spiritual for some) or else you will surely lose interest over the long haul.

3. In sports, it is best not to dwell on your past bad performance. Look forward towards making your next point or shot. In the same way, in dating you don’t want to think about how bad your last date went. You want to focus on having a good experience this time around.

4. In sports it is important to keep your eye on the ball -- where it’s coming from and where you want it to go. As in dating, you want to keep the focus on your goal of your time together and end result you desire.

Article continued below:

Learn how to improve your dating skills and relationships with Coach Amy

I have discovered the best way to know what you need and want in a relationship and life overall is through personal life coaching (I have my own life coach too!). Learn how to attract the right person to you or become clear on whether your current relationship is the right one for you.

Call me for an exploratory conversation to learn how I can help you.

New! Join the next 3 month Motivated to Marry™ Tele-Coaching Group held Wednesdays at 9 pm EST. The next group is being formed now. Get affordable coaching and support from others who are in the same boat as you plus monthly personal coaching with me. Sign up now and save! Perfect for both singles who have never married and for divorced individuals desiring a lasting long-term relationship. Go to www.heartmindconnection.com/motivatedtomarry-group-gen.html for more information or email me at coachamy@heartmindconnection.com.

Stop complaining and get the romantic relationship and the life you have always dreamed of. Reach those goals you say you want to make. Give yourself the gift of one to one personal life coaching – it will last a l.ifetime! Daytime hours are available during the week from 8 a.m. with my last appointment at 5 p.m. Take action today!

Here are some of my testimonials about my coaching:

“Amy’s coaching helped me clarify my values and solidify my decision making leading me to navigate my own course more successfully both personally and in business. All of that happened in two and a half months. When I cleared away the almost relationships that I was tolerating, I made room in my life for the person I had always been looking for. Then, like magic- I found her online. We are now in a blossoming relationship.”

-- Ben, Bethesda MD (LTR since March 2006)

“Amy has been a life-saver! She helped me clarify my values and to focus on living a more values honored life, especially with regard to my entrepreneurial endeavors and my personal relationships”

-- Paul, Alexandria VA (Married in May 2005)

“Amy’s impactful questions dramatically shifted my perspective on marriage and the type of man that would truly make me happy. This process opened me up to meeting my current fiancé.”

-- Robin, Bethesda, MD (TBM April 2007)

“Amy focused me on the areas of my life that needed improvement and gave me the tools to reinforce that focus. Together we came up with creative solutions to problems and strategies to accomplish my goals. I highly recommend Amy as a personal life coach for anyone who feels frustrated with the dating world.”

-- Stewart, New York, NY (married August 2006)

“Amy has definitely helped me have more self confidence in myself to go out into the dating world and take more risks.”

-- Sue, Rockville, MD

Article continued from above:

5. In sports, one needs to access your opponent’s strengths and weaknesses. In a game, you play to your opponents weaknesses. In dating you focus on the opposite -- your date’s strengths. You look at how you can work as a team instead of opponents. Here, you look to work from each other’s strengths, and minimize weaknesses.

6. In sports, to improve your performance, it takes practice. You need to get out and hit the ball again and again in order to anticipate and formulate strategies. In dating, the more you go out and meet different people, the easier it gets. When you get out there regularly, you are able to pick out more quickly who is right for you and who is not.

7. In sports, you take lessons from a coach or trainer to fine-tune your strokes and/or learn how to play game more successfully. In dating, a coach can help you improve your approach and strategies in order to be more successful.

By applying the same tried and true formula for success for sports to dating, you will see how easy it is to improve your skills on the dating game field.

To read articles from my previous monthly ezines go to: www.heartmindconnection.com/free.html

Get Amy’s Expert On-line Dating Profile Review -- Only $99!

Attract the right people to your online dating profile. Improve the number and quality of responses to your profile. I have you fill out an in depth questionnaire to pinpoint what’s really important for you to convey. Remember, you attract what you put out there! Sign up on www.Heartmindconnection.com/profile_review.html

Amy’s review was so helpful! She took the best of me and made me shine! Finally, the kinds of men I want to meet are now contacting me. Thanks Amy!

-- Penny, Reston, VA

What a help Amy has been to me! First, we figured out what online dating sites best for me to put up my profile. And, because of the work we did upfront on my values and goals, and describing me in a truly representative way, the women I am meeting are responding very positively to my inquiries. I am finding that I am meeting more quality women that resonate with me better than my previous attempts with online dating.

-- Joe (54) Rockville, MD

Amy’s terrific! Her suggestions were right on target. I now have included things I hold d.ear and have edited out comments that were in my ad that I now see prevented men from contacting me. The response to my ad has definitely improved.

-- Tania, Silver Springs, MD


Have a question about relationships or how you can get what you truly want and need out of life? www.heartmindconnection.com/coaching_services.html

Get Dating and Relationship Tips

If you haven’t done so already, sign up for the newsletter, “Heartmind Connections” to receive more articles on dating and relationships like this. As a sign up bonus, you’ll receive the sought after article “18 Personalities to avoid in the Dating Pool”, not offered anywhere but here. www.heartmindconnection.com/free.html

Help your Friends/Help Yourself:

I’ll be happy to send them my “Heartmind Connections” e-newsletter. Send them a note about this e-newsletter at www.heartmindconnection.com/tell_a_friend.html so they too can discover their best possible life! Then you will get my popular MP3:“He Said-She Said Teleclass on Dating” as a thank you.

If you enjoyed this newsletter, please pass it along to your friends and associates.

Do you enjoy reading the latest monthly Heartmind Connections ezine? I would love to hear your comments on my ezine and any suggestions you may have for future issues. You may contact me at: coachamy@heartmindconnection.com. Please feel f.ree to forward to any of your friends who may be interested in learning more about dating and relationships.

Amy’s Vision:

“As a personal life coach, my goal is to bring you the information you need to make intelligent and heartfelt decisions about the most significant relationship in your life. We all desire our best life possible. My hope is that you find this information helpful and achieve all your life long dreams.”

Amy Schoen, CPCC
Heartmind Connection™
Life Coach and Dating & Relationship Expert
Helping singles discover their best possible lives!
Rockville, Maryland

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Amy’s current speeches:

How to Get Out There and Date-Again!

5 Simple Steps to Creating Your Most Fulfilling Life

Dating Like A Pro!

Learn to Date the Motivated to Marry™ Method

Email Amy to be your next Guest Speaker.

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Amy Schoen’s Story

“The coaching work I did was invaluable
in understanding myself, my key values, my life goals and the type of partner who would be my best possible fit...”

Read Amy’s Story

Amy Schoen’s Story

“The coaching work I did was invaluable
in understanding myself, my key values, my life goals and the type of partner who would be my best possible fit...”

Read Amy’s Story