Heartmind Connection - Life Coaching, Dating and Relationship Consulting

Heartmind Connection Chronicles

May 2007
 Heartmind Connection

Ezine read time: 5 minutes or less!
By Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC   

This month’s feature article: Dating with Children in the Picture

Quote of the month:  Surround yourself with those who believe in you and who will help you achieve your goals.
 – Lisa Marie Yost

Don’t go on a date without it!
The Motivated to Marry™ Method Handbook
Jammed packed with tons of my Motivated to Marry™ tips
Get your copy n.ow at the insider’s price of
$18.95, regularly $24.95 (25% off the listed price)
Shipping and Maryland tax is additional.
Email me at coachamy@heartmindconnection.com
 for details. Not available in any store.
Go to www.motivatedtomarry.com and take the quiz,” Are You Motivated to Marry?”, peruse the table of contents and get a sneak preview of one of the chapters on dating.


The next F.ree Motivated to Marry™ Tele-gathering will be May 21st
at 9 pm: Internet Dating Like a Pro

Whether you have put off internet dating until now or just want to learn how to improve your chances to meet quality people to date, this is the tele-gathering for you! Learn what it takes to have an internet profile that attracts the right people, the do’s and don’ts of the internet dating process and the internet dating sites to consider joining.  Come share your experiences and frustrations with a group of like minded individuals – and put these new ideas into practice right away.

To join a tele-gathering all you have to do is call in to the bridge line provided, add your two cents to our monthly topic, or just listen.  Bring your q.uestions, issues and concerns about dating and relationships- Talk with Amy Schoen, Professional Personal Life Coach and Dating and Relationship Expert.

Tele-gatherings take place on the third Monday of the month at 9 p.m. EST– The following one will be on May 21st.  Mark your calendars and come join us! (Note that the time is now 9 pm EST this month.)

Sign up at www.heartmindconnection.com under tele-gatherings for the particular month.  (Note: you need to sign up each month for the tele-gathering.  The ph.one number may change from month to month and handouts may be emailed to participants.)

Don’t miss hearing Coach Amy speak in the DC area this month:
Tuesday, May 8th
Dating Like a Pro!
First Class at 6:30 pm
Washington, DC
Contact: www.takeaclass.org

Do you need a speaker for an event or meeting?  Amy has been accepted as a member of the prestigious National Speakers Association.  See her current list of speech topics on www.heartmindconnection.com.  New topics are always being added.  For more information contact Amy at 240-498-7803 or coachamy@heartmindconnection.com.

Amy’s Note: 
Summer will be here before you know it.  Have you made your summer travel plans yet?  Traveling with a s.ingles group is a great way to see new
places and meet new people.  You are with them 24/7 so you really get to know a group of people fairly well.  I have a list of travel groups for many interests in my resource are of my website.  Now is the time to decide where and when you want to travel for the summer.  There are travel groups and resorts for every budget.  Don’t get left behind- make your plans now!

Treat Yourself to: 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. Vol. 2 including authors John Gray (Men are From Mars…), Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup for the Soul) and yours truly, as co-authors.  There are easy to read short chapters and lots of wonderful tidbits to enhance your life.  Only $14.95. Go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=1583410 and you will get tons of in.credible goodies with your purchase from top self-growth authors.   

Coach Amy- Q & A

D.ear Coach Amy,
I am 42 years old female and looking to meet a man who is interested in having a family.  I see s.ingles events in my area for “Over 40”.  Should I take the time and spend the money to go?   Who would I be meeting there?
- Undecided in Urbana

Dear Undecided,
Let’s look at who would be most likely to attend a function like this. Women over 45 years old will show up, as well as, men 50 and over.  Many of these men are in a different stage of life.  They have either had their families already or consider themselves too old to have children at their age.  Of course, there are exceptions.  (Look at Larry King and Michael Douglas!)

Women 45 and under will try and pass themselves off as under 40. There seems to be age discrimination for women that are over 40.   I did not mention my age when I was dating in my early 40’s unless it become an issue and the guy really needed to know.  I easily passed for 5 years younger.  Age does come up when people start talking about their desire to have families.

 The men who are 40 to 49 will go to events for 30 to 39 year olds since many are interested in women who are under 40. 

Therefore, I don’ think it’s your best bet to go to the over 40 event.  You would have a better shot to go to an event for s.ingles that are 30 to 39 to meet age appropriate men.  Yes, this seems like a game, but this is the reality of the situation.  Hopefully, you look youthful and won’t feel out of place at that age group’s event. 

Coach Amy 

Please email me at coachamy@heartmindconnection.com with any dating and relationship q.uestions you would like advice on.  Of course, I will keep your name confidential.  If you have q.uestions, others surely have the same q.uestions too! 


 Feature Article:
Dating with Children in the Picture

Once you reach a certain age, as a s.ingle person you may have children of your own, or you may not have children, but are meeting people to date who do.  This definitely makes dating more challenging and possibly very rewarding at the same time. 

Let’s look at dating from each perspective:

 As a s.ingle parent…

Finding time to date can be an issue.  Between work and your children, that leaves little time for personal time, let alone dating.  That means you have to be very efficient with your time. 

It helps if you have a support system – either friends or family that would look after your kids while you go out.   Many s.ingle parents have their kids every other weekend, so they can plan adult activities for when they are solo. 

A lot depends on the age of the children.  Younger kids are more pliable than older kids to accepting a new person in their parent’s life.

There is the perspective among s.ingle parents that they are less selfish than those people who don’t have kids because they have to focus on others and not only themselves.  

The comments that I have heard from my single parent clients are:

  1. “The person I am dating has to accept me and love the entire package- children and all.”
  2. “ I really need the person I am dating to be flexible and understanding because I can’t always control things when it comes to my kids” 
  3. “I wait awhile before I introduce my child to the person I am dating.  I want to make sure that it’s serious.  I don’t want my child to get attached and then have to deal with a loss if things don’t work out.”


The benefits that the s.ingle parent gets from dating are having an adult companion and someone who can offer emotional support. 


Article continued below:

Learn how to improve your dating skills and relationships with Coach Amy

I have discovered the best way to know what you need and want in a relationship and life overall is through personal life coaching (I have my own life coach too!).  Learn how to attract the right person to you or become clear on whether your current relationship is the right one for you.  

Call me for an exploratory conversation to learn how I can help you. 

Join my next 3 month Motivated to Marry™ Tele-Coaching Group held Wednesdays at 9 pm EST.  The next group is currently being formed.  Get affordable coaching and support from others who are in the same boat as you plus monthly personal coaching with me.  Perfect for both s.ingles who have n.ever married and for divorced individuals desiring a lasting long-term relationship.  Groups are comprised of 4 to 6 individuals and take place on the tele.phone.  Go to www.heartmindconnection.com/motivatedtomarry-group-gen.html for more information or email me at coachamy@heartmindconnection.com.
Stop complaining and get the romantic relationship and the life you have always dreamed of.   Reach those goals you say you want to make.  Give yourself the gift of one to one personal life coaching – it will last a l.ifetime!  Daytime hours are available during the week from 8 a.m. with my last appointment at 5 p.m.  I am like a personal trainer for your life.  I challenge my clients to reach and exceed their goals.  Take action today!
www.heartmindconnection.com/coaching_services.html .

H.ere are some of my testi-monials about my coaching:


“With Amy’s coaching, I accomplished more in a half month’s time than a half year’s time in Therapy!  I was able to put to use immediately the insights and knowledge that I had gained from our sessions.  Now I feel more empowered in dealing with both work and personal relationships. Thanks Amy, you’re the best!”  -- Patricia   Bethesda, MD

“Amy’s coaching helped me clarify my values and solidify my decision making leading me to navigate my own course more successfully both personally and in business. All of that happened in two and a half months.”  -- Ben, Bethesda MD (in a committed relationship)

“Amy has been a life-saver!  She helped me clarify my values and to focus on living a more values honored life, especially with regard to my entrepreneurial endeavors and my personal relationships”
-- Paul, Alexandria VA (Married in May 2005)

“Amy’s impactful qu.estions dramatically shifted my perspective on marriage and the type of man that would truly make me happy.  This process opened me up to meeting my husband.”
                        -- Robin, Bethesda, MD (married April 2007)

“Amy focused me on the areas of my life that needed improvement and gave me the tools to reinforce that focus.  Together we came up with creative solutions to problems and strategies to accomplish my goals.  I highly recommend Amy as a personal life coach for anyone who feels frustrated with the dating world.”
-- Stewart, New York, NY (married August 2006) 

“Amy has definitely helped me have more self confidence in myself to go out into the dating world and take more risks.”
                        -- Sue, Rockville, MD

 Article continued from above:

As a s.ingle person without children looking to date a s.ingle parent….

A whole new world is opened up for the s.ingle person who doesn’t have kids once this person is introduced to the kids of the s.ingle parent you are dating. 

You have to have patience and be willing to put the needs of your partner’s kids before your own- many times.  You will be going to kids events and spending time with your partner’s kids in addition to your alone adult time. 

The child(ren) may accept you readily or you may have to deal with some resentment as if you are an intruder and taking this parent away from the child(ren).

The s.ingle parent may expect the partner to pitch in and help- with feeding time, cleaning up after the children, entertaining the children or other parent-like responsibilities.  The issue of discipline and how much say you have comes into play. 

The comments I hear from my clients who do not have children and are dating s.ingle parents are:

  1. “I need to feel that I am special and that my partner is thinking of me.   I understand that most times the kids come first but I need to see that he is making the effort for us to have alone time.”
  2. “I really like the idea of being a part of a child’s life since I doubt I will have children of my own at this age.” 
  3. I have to see that the woman I am dating has a good relationship with her ex and that the kids’ interest comes before their own.  Also, I need to feel accepted by the kids for me to stick around.”
  4. “My biggest transition was having the kids around and knowing what to do with them.”


The benefits of dating a s.ingle parent are being a part of a child’s life and building a bond that can last a lifetime and having a ready made family.  What I hear from my clients that it is not easy, but if you hang in there for the long haul, you do become a part of the family and it can be very rewarding. 

The key to both sides feeling happy about the relationship is being able to communicate each other’s needs and come up with a solution that works for both parties. 

Dating with children bring in a whole new dimension.  It is definitely challenging at times, but from what I am told, the rewards most times greatly out weigh the downsides. 


To read articles from my previous monthly ezines go to: www.heartmindconnection.com/free.html

Get Amy’s Expert On-line Dating Profile Review -- Only $199!

Attract the right people to your online dating profile.  Improve the number and quality of responses to your profile.  I have you fill out an in depth questionnaire to pinpoint what’s really important for you to convey.  Remember, you attract what you put out there!  Sign up on www.Heartmindconnection.com/profile_review.html
This is what my clients have said about working with me on their internet profiles after coaching with them:

I want to thank you so much for being my coach.  Everything I’ve learned has been so valuable and encouraging to me.  I’ve met a wonderful man through the internet.  It is probably too soon to tell what the future holds however I’m very happy.  All of my values are being matched by him.  
    -– Christine, Columbia, MD

What a help Amy has been to me! First, we figured out what online dating sites best for me to put up my profile. And, because of the work we did upfront on my values and goals, and describing me in a truly representative way, the women I am meeting are responding very positively to my inquiries.  I am finding that I am meeting more quality women that resonate with me better than my previous attempts with online dating.
                       -- Joe, Rockville, MD

6 months after I signed up on an online internet site, I met a nice gentleman.  We've been going out three months now, which is a record for me because I am usually not interested enough to go beyond 3 or 4 dates. So I thank you for inspiring me to do something I did not want to do, that is, using the internet to find a date.  It has reaped much better returns than most of the other activities I have undertaken.
                        -- Carolyn, Olney, MD

I am presently dating a lady about 40 miles away from me.  We are getting along quite well.  Keep your fingers crossed for me! I must say that your service is quite well executed.  You do take personal pride in what you do – so keep up the great work!
                        -- Zack, Martinsburg, WV

Have a q.uestion about relationships or how you can get what you truly want and need out of life? www.heartmindconnection.com/coaching_services.html

Get Dating and Relationship Tips
If you haven’t done so already, sign up for the newsletter, “Heartmind Connections” to receive more articles on dating and relationships like this.  As a sign up bonus, you’ll receive the sought after article “18 Personalities to avoid in the Dating Pool”, not offered anywhere but h.ere. www.heartmindconnection.com/free.html

See if you are Motivated to Marry™? Take the quiz:
Go to www.heartmindconnection.com/motivated-to-marry-quiz.html to find out how Motivated to Marry™ you truly are.  Learn what you may need to do to help you become more marriage minded if you so desire. 


If you enjoyed this newsletter, please pass it along to your friends and associates.

Do you enjoy reading the latest monthly Heartmind Connections ezine?  I would love to hear your comments on my ezine and any suggestions you may have for future issues. You may contact me at: coachamy@heartmindconnection.com.  Please feel f.ree to forward to any of your friends who may be interested in learning more about dating and relationships.

Amy’s Vision:
“As a personal life coach, my goal is to bring you the information you need to make intelligent and heartfelt decisions about the most significant relationship in your life.  We all desire our best life possible.  My hope is that you find this information helpful and achieve all your life long dreams.”

Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC
Heartmind Connection®, LLC
Life Coach and Dating & Relationship Expert
Helping s.ingles create their best possible lives!

Rockville, Maryland   

2007© Heartmind Connection®, LLC.  All rights reserved.

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How to Get Out There and Date-Again!

5 Simple Steps to Creating Your Most Fulfilling Life

Dating Like A Pro!

Learn to Date the Motivated to Marry™ Method

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Amy Schoen’s Story

“The coaching work I did was invaluable
in understanding myself, my key values, my life goals and the type of partner who would be my best possible fit...”

Read Amy’s Story

Amy Schoen’s Story

“The coaching work I did was invaluable
in understanding myself, my key values, my life goals and the type of partner who would be my best possible fit...”

Read Amy’s Story