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Heartmind Connection Chronicles

April 2007

This month’s feature article: Motivated to Marry™ Activities to Meet Your True Love This Spring or Summer!

Quote of the month:  The secret of abundance is to stop focusing on what you do not have and shift your consciousness to an appreciation for all that you are and all that you do have.               -- Dr. Wayne Dyer

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The Motivated to Marry™ Method Handbook
Jammed packed with tons of my Motivated to Marry™ wisdoms
Get your copy n.ow at the insider’s price of
$18.95, regularly $24.95 (25% off the listed price)
Shipping and Maryland tax is additional.
Email me at coachamy@heartmindconnection.com
 for details. Not available in any store.
Go to www.motivatedtomarry.com and take the quiz,” Are You Motivated to Marry?”, peruse the table of contents and get a sneak preview of one of the chapters.

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The next F.ree Motivated to Marry™ Tele-gathering will be April 16th at 9 pm: How to Date with Children

What does it take to date with children in the picture?  What considerations do you have to take?  What boundaries do you want to set?  Whether you are a s.ingle parent or considering dating a single parent, this is an important conversation to have.  Please join us for our lively and informative discussion about dating with kids!

To join a tele-gathering all you have to do is call in to the bridge line provided, add your two cents to our monthly topic, or just listen.  Bring your q.uestions, issues and concerns about dating and relationships- Talk with Amy Schoen, Professional Personal Life Coach and Dating and Relationship Expert.

Tele-gatherings take place on the third Monday of the month at 9 p.m. EST– The following one will be on May 21st.  Mark your calendars and come join us! (Note that the time is now 9 pm EST this month.)

Sign up at www.heartmindconnection.com under tele-gatherings for the particular month.  (Note: you need to sign up each month for the tele-gathering.  The ph.one number may change from month to month and handouts may be emailed to participants.)

Don’t miss Amy speaking at the following events in the DC area:
           
Tuesday, May 8th
Dating Like a Pro!
First Class at 6:30 pm
Washington, DC
Contact: www.takeaclass.org
Fee

Do you need a speaker for an event or meeting?  Amy has been accepted as a member of the prestigious National Speakers Association.  See her current list of speech topics on www.heartmindconnection.com.  New topics are always being added.  For more information contact Amy at 240-498-7803 or coachamy@heartmindconnection.com.

Amy’s Note: 
The first day of spring has past.  The flowers are blooming and color is returning to our landscape.  It’s time to put away your parka, your gloves and get outside!  There is so much happening for you to do and participate in.  There are no more excuses.  Hopefully you have gotten rid of that awful cold (I was sick for over a month this winter) and feel up for a hike, a bike ride, stroll along the river or to enjoy an outside concert.  This month’s article will offer you several ways to get out and meet people.  It’s time to clear away the cob webs and put yourself in places to find new love.  You are not alone.  Many people are looking for relationships this time of year.  It’s called “Spring Fever!” 
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Treat Yourself to: 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. Vol. 2 including authors John Gray (Men are From Mars…), Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup for the Soul) and yours truly, as co-authors.  There are easy to read short chapters and lots of wonderful tidbits to enhance your life.  Only $14.95. Go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=1583410 and you will get tons of in.credible goodies with your purchase from top self-growth authors.   

 

Coach Amy- Q & A

D.ear Coach Amy,
I’m a 45 year old male still looking to get married and have a family and I am considering using a match-making service.  I am also considering dating coaching.  What would serve me best at this juncture?  I only have so much money to spend on finding “the one”. 
                                                              -- Torn in Toledo
Dear Torn,
Let’s look at the pros and cons of each service for you: 

Pros on using a Match-maker:

  1. You have someone working on your behalf to match you up with the right person.  A good match-maker spends several hours or getting to know you and listens!
  2. They have a ready pool of candidates.  I would hope they would not take you on as a client if they did not have appropriate women for you.
  3. You have a feedback loop going- after the date you would discuss what worked and what didn’t.  Hopefully the match-maker would take this information to give you a better match next time.

Cons on using a match-maker:

  1. You have to find a reputable match-maker who has a good track record.  Check the Better Business Bureau before signing up with one.  Try and get referrals from your community on who has had successful matches leading to marriage. 
  2. Make sure they listen to you.  From my own experience and others I know – they put you with people who look okay on paper but really don’t meet your needs.  You need to be really clear about what you are looking for: Age, religion, location, profession, wanting children, ect. 
  3. They can be very expensive.  Make sure they are clear about how many matches they will give you over a period of time.  What if they don’t come through for you?  Read the agreement very carefully.  Most don’t guarantee success.
  4. Be sure to ask them how many “active” women they have in your age range in your geographic area (if that’s important to you). 

Pros on using a coach:

  1. You will gain the tools and know how to find your own mate.  You don’t have to depend on someone else and their judgment.  You will have access to many sources to meet appropriate women: internet and s.ingles events and activities.  You will build confidence and a feeling of empowerment with coaching.
  2. By having your values, long term life goals and non-negotiables clarified, you will have a way to access every potential partner.  The knowledge you gain will last a lifetime and help you will all your life decisions. 
  3. You will benefit from a whole life approach to dating.  You will look at what is getting in your way to finding the right person: your job, children, parent responsibilities or possibly your perspective on dating.  You will work on finding solutions to your roadblocks. 

Cons to using a coach:

  1. There are no ready made women to meet.  You have to find them yourself.
  2. It takes commitment of time to work with a coach- about 3 months.  (Most of my successful clients have coached with me at least six months or more).
  3. There are no guarantees that you will meet ‘the one” during your coaching time.  However, the skills and tools you gain carry forward in your search. 

(I had several clients tell me that they were in committed relationships after they completed with coaching- and said the coaching helped them get there)

I hope you got a sense of what each service can offer you.  Of course you will need to get the specific details before you can make your decision.  My own personal philosophy is “before you spend one dime on any dating service or singles event, invest in getting real clear about what you truly need to have in a relationship to be happy – coaching will help you with this process”.   In the end you will be more efficient with your time and m.oney when you are utilizing any of these other avenues of finding your life mate. 

Best,
Coach Amy 

Please email me at coachamy@heartmindconnection.com with any dating and relationship q.uestions you would like advice on.  Of course, I will keep your name confidential.  If you have q.uestions, others surely have the same q.uestions too! 

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 Feature Article:
Motivated to Marry™ Activities to Meet Your True Love
This Spring or Summer!

The weather has finally started to get warmer and we are all coming out of hibernation from our homes and pulling ourselves away from the computer! 

Where will you go to meet serious, marriage- minded people?  What kind of activities do you enjoy that you would have a good chance of sharing your values as well as enjoyment of the activity with potential dating partners?  Here are several suggestions for you to consider: 

  1. Join a club

Most metropolitan areas have many clubs for so many different interests.  For the sports enthusiasts and those who like to be physically active you have groups for: biking, hiking, softball, tennis, golf, running and dancing.  For those who love personal growth and learning, there are a plentitude of classes to take.  For those who like more intellectual pursuits, there are gaming groups and bridge groups.  So find a club and join it!  Don’t go only once, it’s like “Cheers” people have to see you a couple of times for people to have a chance to meet you. 

  1. Go to cultural activities that attract s.ingles

Certain Museums, concert venues are set up for s.ingles to mingle.  In Washington, DC there are concerts in the sculpture garden of the Hirschorn Museum,  lectures and cocktails at the Phillips Gallery on Thursdays evenings and black tie events at the Corcoran Gallery that attract the professional s.ingles in the DC area.  What do you have in your city?  If you don’t have anything related to the arts, perhaps you can start something!  Several of the Professionals in the City groups have cultural events to go to.   Again, this way you satisfy your hunger for cultural exposure and meet new people that could potentially be wonderful dates!

  1. Keep working the internet - just for a shorter amount of time!

Don’t give up on the internet.  Try another site if the current one is getting stale.  Open up your search criteria to a neighboring town or city.  This is a great time to take weekend trips to nurture a budding relationship.  Keep working on your process of weeding out inappropriate suitors so you find yourself meeting people who seem to have better potential for a serious romantic relationship.  Before you know it, you will be enjoying the spring with your new dating partners.

 

Article continued below:

Learn how to improve your dating skills and relationships with Coach Amy

I have discovered the best way to know what you need and want in a relationship and life overall is through personal life coaching (I have my own life coach too!).  Learn how to attract the right person to you or become clear on whether your current relationship is the right one for you.  

Call me for an exploratory conversation to learn how I can help you. 

Join my next 3 month Motivated to Marry™ Tele-Coaching Group held Wednesdays at 9 pm EST.  The next group is currently being formed.  Get affordable coaching and support from others who are in the same boat as you plus monthly personal coaching with me.  Perfect for both s.ingles who have n.ever married and for divorced individuals desiring a lasting long-term relationship.  Groups are comprised of 4 to 6 individuals and take place on the tele.phone.  Go to www.heartmindconnection.com/motivatedtomarry-group-gen.html for more information or email me at coachamy@heartmindconnection.com.
  
Stop complaining and get the romantic relationship and the life you have always dreamed of.   Reach those goals you say you want to make.  Give yourself the gift of one to one personal life coaching – it will last a l.ifetime!  Daytime hours are available during the week from 8 a.m. with my last appointment at 5 p.m.  I am like a personal trainer for your life.  I challenge my clients to reach and exceed their goals.  Take action today!
www.heartmindconnection.com/coaching_services.html .
 

H.ere are some of my testi-monials about my coaching:

 

“With Amy’s coaching, I accomplished more in a half month’s time than a half year’s time in Therapy!  I was able to put to use immediately the insights and knowledge that I had gained from our sessions.  Now I feel more empowered in dealing with both work and personal relationships. Thanks Amy, you’re the best!”  -- Patricia   Bethesda, MD

“Amy’s coaching helped me clarify my values and solidify my decision making leading me to navigate my own course more successfully both personally and in business. All of that happened in two and a half months.”  -- Ben, Bethesda MD (in a relationship)

“Amy has been a life-saver!  She helped me clarify my values and to focus on living a more values honored life, especially with regard to my entrepreneurial endeavors and my personal relationships”
-- Paul, Alexandria VA (Married in May 2005)

“Amy’s impactful qu.estions dramatically shifted my perspective on marriage and the type of man that would truly make me happy.  This process opened me up to meeting my fiancé.”
                        -- Robin, Bethesda, MD (engaged to be married April 2007)

“Amy focused me on the areas of my life that needed improvement and gave me the tools to reinforce that focus.  Together we came up with creative solutions to problems and strategies to accomplish my goals.  I highly recommend Amy as a personal life coach for anyone who feels frustrated with the dating world.”
-- Stewart, New York, NY (married August 2006) 

“Amy has definitely helped me have more self confidence in myself to go out into the dating world and take more risks.”
                        -- Sue, Rockville, MD

 Article continued from above:

 

  1. Plan to take a trip with a s.ingles group

If you love to travel and you would want your life partner to share that same passion, then where else will you find someone but on a trip with other singles?  Find a trip that really interests you and attracts a good number of people from at least 25 to over 100 people.  There are singles cruises, sightseeing tours and destination trips like the beach or the mountains.  I went to a summer camp set up for professional adults in New England. 

There were several couples that met on my summer trip in Europe.
Why travel with only your friends or your parents?  You can do that when you meet that someone special!

  1. Reconnect with old friends and make new ones!

How many times have you heard that someone had seen again someone they knew from high school or college and it just clicked?  Go to your reunions and alumni events.  You will find out who is n.ow  s.ingle.  Also, your old friends may know someone to introduce you to. 

If invited, go to parties with friends or friends of friends.  You will never know who will show up too!  A girlfriend hosted a party where everyone was supposed to bring a friend of the opposite sex.  Guess what?  She met her boyfriend that evening!  Be creative and think how you and your network of friends can get a group together. 

  1. Find a place of worship that is meaningful to you.

If you practice a particular religion, then find the synagogues, churches, and religious centers that have s.ingles groups and activities.  Perhaps they bring in a speaker, have dances, share a meal or sponsor excursions.  Here you will meet others who are looking to connect with someone who has similar belief people and can give you a sense of home.  Many people have met in this kind of setting. 

  1. Try something new that you have never done before! 

Don’t worry about making a fool of yourself.  Someone will appreciate your courage and willingness to laugh at yourself.  I remember a guy friend who took cooking classes and he met his wife there.   I have a girlfriend who joined a bird-watching group and met her husband!  When you stretch yourself and put yourself in new situations, you are bound to meet a new people. 

H.ere I gave you seven types of places to meet people to date.  The key is just to get out there and do the activities you enjoy.  The more you do the more people you will meet.  Also, you will make new friends who may also know people for you to meet and possible date.  So stop procrastinating and take advantage of this glorious time of year!

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To read articles from my previous monthly ezines go to: www.heartmindconnection.com/free.html

Get Amy’s Expert On-line Dating Profile Review -- Only $99!

Attract the right people to your online dating profile.  Improve the number and quality of responses to your profile.  I have you fill out an in depth questionnaire to pinpoint what’s really important for you to convey.  Remember, you attract what you put out there!  Sign up on www.Heartmindconnection.com/profile_review.html
  
This is what my clients have said about working with me on their internet profiles after coaching with them:

I want to thank you so much for being my coach.  Everything I’ve learned has been so valuable and encouraging to me.  I’ve met a wonderful man through the internet.  It is probably too soon to tell what the future holds however I’m very happy.  All of my values are being matched by him.  
    -– Christine, Columbia, MD

What a help Amy has been to me! First, we figured out what online dating sites best for me to put up my profile. And, because of the work we did upfront on my values and goals, and describing me in a truly representative way, the women I am meeting are responding very positively to my inquiries.  I am finding that I am meeting more quality women that resonate with me better than my previous attempts with online dating.
                       -- Joe, Rockville, MD

6 months after I signed up on an online internet site, I met a nice gentleman.  We've been going out three months now, which is a record for me because I am usually not interested enough to go beyond 3 or 4 dates. So I thank you for inspiring me to do something I did not want to do, that is, using the internet to find a date.  It has reaped much better returns than most of the other activities I have undertaken.
                        -- Carolyn, Olney, MD

I am presently dating a lady about 40 miles away from me.  We are getting along quite well.  Keep your fingers crossed for me! I must say that your service is quite well executed.  You do take personal pride in what you do – so keep up the great work!
                        -- Zack, Martinsburg, WV

Q.uestions?
Have a q.uestion about relationships or how you can get what you truly want and need out of life? www.heartmindconnection.com/coaching_services.html

Get Dating and Relationship Tips
If you haven’t done so already, sign up for the newsletter, “Heartmind Connections” to receive more articles on dating and relationships like this.  As a sign up bonus, you’ll receive the sought after article “18 Personalities to avoid in the Dating Pool”, not offered anywhere but h.ere. www.heartmindconnection.com/free.html

See if you are Motivated to Marry™?Take the quiz:
Go to www.heartmindconnection.com/motivated-to-marry-quiz.html to find out how Motivated to Marry™ you truly are.  Learn what you may need to do to help you become more marriage minded if you so desire. 

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If you enjoyed this newsletter, please pass it along to your friends and associates.

Do you enjoy reading the latest monthly Heartmind Connections ezine?  I would love to hear your comments on my ezine and any suggestions you may have for future issues. You may contact me at: coachamy@heartmindconnection.com.  Please feel f.ree to forward to any of your friends who may be interested in learning more about dating and relationships.

Amy’s Vision:
“As a personal life coach, my goal is to bring you the information you need to make intelligent and heartfelt decisions about the most significant relationship in your life.  We all desire our best life possible.  My hope is that you find this information helpful and achieve all your life long dreams.”

Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC
Heartmind Connection®, LLC
Life Coach and Dating & Relationship Expert
Helping s.ingles create their best possible lives!

240-498-7803     
Rockville, Maryland   
www.heartmindconnection.com

2007© Heartmind Connection®, LLC.  All rights reserved.

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Amy Schoen’s Story

“The coaching work I did was invaluable
in understanding myself, my key values, my life goals and the type of partner who would be my best possible fit...”

Read Amy’s Story

Amy Schoen’s Story

“The coaching work I did was invaluable
in understanding myself, my key values, my life goals and the type of partner who would be my best possible fit...”

Read Amy’s Story